Our Fullness Benchmark – Living without neediness

In the beginning, we all begin our human adventure inside our mother.

This primal experience sets our benchmark for what peace means to us: no need for anything outside ourselves, as everything is brought to us without the need for us to use one ounce of energy.

Then…..

As soon as we are born, this all changes, and along with our physical body, our sense of neediness is born.

From our earliest years, we are reaching for air, food, water, our parents and environment does its best to give us the connectedness and the affection we experienced inside our mothers body.

Our parents give us these things, to the best of their ability.

But that from day there is always a sense that something is missing… that the world we have been born into is often nasty and hurtful.

What is often disregarded, is that we are hybrid.

On the one hand, we are physical creatures, who need physical things to survive: air, food, water, to relieve our digestive process….

But while our physical processes are being met, we realize that our need for love, connectedness, attention, and approval are not being met… at least not to the level of our benchmark.

This benchmark which was formed inside our mother, where we had need of nothing, and everything was given freely, is not met by external sources.

When we stop thinking, and just breathe, what we are “experiencing” and our benchmark become one.

This balanced center is the place where, if we learn to live in it, gives calmness and peace, to move in the physical world without feeling needy.

We worship the concept of hero.

A hero is someone who, in the midst of everything going crazy all around them, can continue to function in a normal or even heightened manner.

This is because they do not lose their balanced center.

This is why stoicism and “Spock” mentality is something we all try to reach for…..

But we somehow think that if we can act rationally, we can attain this, and push our emotional reactions down….

Not correct.

We think that if we make structural changes in our character, that we can do this.

Not correct.

We think that religiously, if we live up to what our deity tells us to do, that we can do this.

Not correct

The ONLY answer is to maintain our sense of our benchmark.

Why?

Because it gives us a balanced place in the midst of the world… one that we can work from, without being dragged down by our neediness.

No one becomes a “Jedi Master” at living balanced, experiencing our benchmark. We are ALL human beings which received our benchmark from our time in our mothers womb. We all have to work at holding our equilibrium from moment to moment… there is no such thing as Saint status. We are ALL slobs on the bus trying to make our way home.

But some seem to be able to live this more naturally than others.

For the rest of us, we need to have some practice or practices which work for us, and the type of practice IS personal …. It has to WORK!!! Many of my friends have tried to live what they were taught, and ended up feeling empty inside due to the fact that what they were taught does NOT make them re-connect with their experienced benchmark …… so i am going with William James philosophy of Pragmatism or Functionality here.

If what you are practising works, use it…. if what you are practising DOESN’T work, dump it.

Why our upbringing often does not always work for us, is because we truly are ALL unique, in that no two people bump into the same events in their life.

However some of us DO fit our upbringing, and it brings us peace.

This is why we see a few folks from every culture, every religion, every ideology that are able to function. This is due to the fact that their upbringing, or their re-worked version of it, brings them into their benchmark of inner equilibrium.

It is NOT due to their fulfilling some sort of deity requirement.

The Creator has given each one of us what we need to function on this earth.
It is up to each one of us to discover its magic, and learn how to utilize it.