Chapter 14 – How does Self-Consciousness affect us in out attitudes about the world?

This chapter deals with how seeking approval can change the way we feel about ourselves, and make us unduly aware of ourselves.
“We are either internally directed, guided by our own inner guide and maintaining an inner locus of control”, or we are “outer directed”, looking for direction and guidance outside ourselves. This being outer directed is the main perpetrator which causes us to be self-conscious.

Feeling inadequate. Start to beat ourselves up. We are negative towards ourselves.
Compare ourselves to others unfavourably. – the social media trap.
We all “balance out” with our weaknesses and strengths.
“I am equal to everyone else, and everyone else is equal to me”.
“Most people actually don’t care what you say or do because they are so aware of themselves in the same way that we are”
Other people are self-sense-centred, just as we are, so they are busy in that environment, just as we are, so they might be defending themselves by doing things that judge you, but actually they are struggling with their own self consciousness.

When you think you have made a fool of yourself, repeat these three little mantras:

It’s ok, nobody cares, its going to be fine.