Cutting to the Chase - Getting to the bottom of things · Emotional Reactions · How to Practice · Metta · Psychotherapy · Sayings · Serious Questions

Dealing with Resentment in the Zendo

James Kenney posted this on the Soto Zen Buddhism facebook pages, and i think it expresses this view very eloquently.
Regarding taking offense of folks and the resentment that can build up, and the resolution of that by “walking it thru to the other side”…..
James Kenney said: You are your practice. They are their practice. I try to thank people who correct me or are rude to me…not for their sakes, but for my own peace of mind.

I also focus on remembering that sitting is VERY difficult, and that I am grateful to everyone who sits there for hour after hour with me sharing the joy and the agony of zazen.

Have you sat a sesshin with this person? That might help.

True story: I resented a priest for 10 years, then worked with him during work-period this June. He was a totally different guy from the imagined person I resented. I talked with him in dokusan and told him of my feelings, and he revealed to me he often felt that way himself about how he has been treated. I realized I had been unjust and unkind to him, and I felt ashamed of myself, and grateful he trusted me enough to share his side.

Now we are friends and have lunch together every couple weeks or a month if I’m away.


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